PARSHAS וירא

The Gemora in Bovo Mezia asks why was it that the angels immediately agreed to Avrohom when he requested them to stay with him whereas when they reached S’dom and Lot begged them to stay with him overnight, they initially refused. The Gemora’s answer is that from this we can see that one may decline a request made by a person of small stature but not by one who is great.

מכאן שמסרבין לקטן ואין מסרבין לגדול

I would suggest an alternative approach.

If one examines the expressions used by Avrohom and Lot, one sees a great difference. Avrohom when inviting the three people (as he understood at that time they were) stated clearly:-

יקח נא מעט מים ורחצו רגליכם

Let there be taken a little water and you should wash your feet. Remember that travellers walking in the dessert in the scorching sun often had swollen and cut feet.

והשענו תחת העץ

And you shall rest under the tree.

He suggested to them, not only that they should wash their feet, but also rest under a tree, protected from the blazing sun. Avrohom then continued significantly

ואקחה פת לחם וסעדו לבכם

“I will take bread and you can eat to your satisfaction”.

Turning to Lot, when the two angels reached S’dom in the evening and Lot spied them, he asked them to come to his house and continued:-

ולינו ורחצו רגליכם והשכמתם והלכתם לדרככם

Stay overnight, wash your feet, get up early and go on your way. He did not offer them any food or drink. They answered, “No, we will stay in the street”.

Lot did beg them to come to his residence and eventually they agreed. The Torah does say that he made them a meal including matzos.

However, הכנסת אורחים, inviting in guests, must be done in a pleasant way to make the guests feel that they are really welcome. The most important thing is to offer them food, not just imply that you will give them some.

Here we have the key difference between Avrohom’s request to them and that of Lot.

I believe that one can maintain that due to that, the three angels immediately said yes to Avrohom’s request, whereas they initially declined that of Lot.

This is, of course, a lesson to all of us as to how to greet guests and make them feel really wanted.

I recall, that over 50 years ago, when I was in Gateshead Yeshiva as a young bochur, shortly after the war ended, the food we received was very sparse, for example, if I recall correctly, we were each allotted a pot of jam which had to last us three months.

On Shabbos, if we were fortunate, we were occasionally invited out by the local members of the Kollel or Baalabatim for a meal.

I was privileged and lucky to be invited by Rabbi Bezalel Rakow who eventually became the famous Rabbi of the Gateshead Kehilla. He was, at that time, learning in the Kollel and often invited me for a Friday night meal.

I recall vividly that the atmosphere was full of Kedusha and the food was very enjoyable. However, what I recall particularly was that often, after we had all eaten a particular course, he asked his wife to bring me a second helping, despite my protestations. “A Yeshiva bochur does not get much to eat during the week, and you should fill his plate again.” Stated Rabbi Rakow emphatically, but with a smile.

I still remember this extra special הכנסת אורחים which I encountered.

Rabbi Rakow זצ''ל was not only a great Talmud Chacham and Posek, he also was a shining example of middos tovos.

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